Self Discipline, Self Regard, Self Indulgence, and Sloth

I'm either stuck right now or finding my way to some sanity in my relationship with food. I'm not up for counting points or record keeping of any type. Undeterred by lack of success with this in the past, I'm now trying to "just" make good decisions with regard to what I eat. This is easier to do when I'm alert and busy than when I'm tired and glued to the family room couch. I've returned to the strategy of keeping good-for-you foods that I enjoy eating on hand. These include ones that I can eat in any amount and ones with which I have to be far more careful. In the first category, I currently have steamed rutabagas, winter squash, and broccoli in the refrigerator along with fresh veggies and fruit. In the second category, I have yogurt and cheeses in the refrigerator and WW ice cream in the freezer. I also have candy on hand. W H A T ? ? ? It's occurred to me that sometimes when I want something sweet, I keep trying to satisfy this desire in ways that don't satisfy and then continue with a still unsatisfying binge. So I'm trying to short circuit the process with one or two little squares of Hershey's dark chocolate. At about 15 calories a square, I'm not doing myself any damage unless I start getting into insatiability. I have a vested interest in stopping myself at two squares. If I end up eating the whole chocolate bar, I'll have shown myself that I can't self moderate. We'll see how this goes.

As to getting the exercise that I need to be healthy and get rid of the lbs., I've been filled with that with which the road to hell has been paved, good intentions. I read the blogs of my on-line friends and resolve to get on my elliptical cross trainer. I have no excuse; it's right behind me as I type this and I enjoy working out on it. E N J O Y ! ! ! Really. Yet even now, as I type this at 5:42 p.m., I know that I'll end another day without any significant exercise. I'd thought of ending this post with promises to myself to do better. Naaaaaah. I'll know that I'm doing better if I find myself on the elliptical or on the park trails that are so close to where I live. My moment by moment decisions will tell the story of who I am in relationship to self discipline and self regard on the one hand and self indulgence and sloth on the other.